thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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