I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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