I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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