i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
