...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
