so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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