I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my liver is dry heaving
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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