I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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