if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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