it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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