handjob tips. give me some.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
