:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
