one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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