is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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