How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he thought i was a dude.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
