she was so not down for the gang bang
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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