I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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