Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
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Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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