I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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