The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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