just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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