Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
