I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
