my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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