the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
