I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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