he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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