I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
