Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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