My sheets look like a crime scene.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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