How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
