He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We got so high we made milksteak
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
