im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
