In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
