Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
