4 words: hood of his car
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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