we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As shirtless as possible
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
