Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
