I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Less talking, more tequila
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
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I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize