Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
