this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
