you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
