ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize