I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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