hotel room ftw
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
