i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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