just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
