I wish I only lived at night.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
