If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
