that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize