I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You were trust falling into bushes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
