Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
