Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
