I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
