There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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