I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
